I Want to Believe
A Demo a Day: Day 9.
After seeing Marshall Law’s takedown of the anarchists on live TV, Thomas’ newly found faith is badly shaken… but he still wants to try.
Words
Before Judgment Day was a twinkle in my eye, I had been thinking about an X Files-inspired musical about aliens and conspiracy. I eventually incorporated this thread into the opera with I Want to Believe, but now focused on Thomas’ longing to believe in a higher power than himself.
When I was writing this, I was extremely frustrated and anxious (spoiler alert: I still am). It begins with a piano-accompanied reprise of If This Goes On… reminding us of the dangerous course we’re on as a species. The verses are straight from the heart, an exasperated, exhausted WTF. People are stupid, backwards, corrupt, and complacent, and most times life seems pretty bleak.
The chorus offers a ray of hope. The truth is indeed out there; we just need to keep searching. The bridge confirms this, and reassures us that even if the search takes our whole lives, that’s just alright.
I was grappling with the chorus lyrics for a few years, until I quite randomly stumbled on a rerun of the X Files episode Closure, in which Mulder’s sister Samantha’s fate is finally revealed. I somehow had missed this one before. It all clicked for me-- and I found some closure of my own. The secret’s in the stars.
Music
Welcome to 70’s hard rock night with Tony! These are my roots…
The song is a power ballad with an acoustic guitar part inspired by Led Zeppelin’s Thank You, but ultimately grooving more like Bad Company’s Feel Like Making Love. Actually, the arrangement is like if those two songs had a baby and that baby dated The Outlaws’ Green Grass and High Tides: it goes on for a while and we’ve got multiple guitar solos, hammond organ, mellotron and a full choir to back up Thomas at the end. It’s like an extended version on a live double LP, and I love every eight minutes of it.
About a third of the way into the opera, this solo tune provides a break for the cast and audience after the bombast of the News of the World->Tear It Down->Order, Order, Order! sequence. With the right vocalist, it could also be a showcase number.